The Toilet Saga: The Memorial

It is with a heavy heart that I inform you all that my toilet has officially been taken away. I’ve been hoping, unsuccessfully, that it would magically reappear, but I don’t think it’s coming back this time.

It left this world nearly two weeks ago. I should’ve known when I saw all the signs: the city trucks, the mowing crew... I should’ve been prepared to say my goodbyes, but I was in denial. It wasn’t until I drove home one day that I realized my toilet had been removed from its proud post in the median, never to be seen again. I can only assume that the mowing crew disposed of it, deeming it as “in the way”.

My one true hope now is that my beloved toilet is in a better place… Maybe on a ranch in the sky with other old toilets, where it can play Jenga and sip Mojitos all day; a befitting fate for a toilet so wonderful and mysterious. But wherever it is, I hope it’s bringing other people as much incredible happiness as it has brought to me over the past few months.

It's taught me a valuable lesson in never taking ANYTHING too seriously. Whenever life gets me down, I need to remember that some random toilet might just show up, disappear, reappear, get moved into the median of the highway and then sprout flowers. It seems only appropriate that during its last few days on the median, flowers were planted in its tank. Perhaps someone was giving it a proper send off. Or perhaps, it was just another awesome gesture by the toilet artist to put smiles on the faces of the overworked and underpaid.

Goodbye, sweet friend.

My toilet is a metaphor of sorts; a metaphor for the insane brilliance of the small things in life. Even the seemingly normal things we use every day - like our toilets - can bring us smiles. In honor of my toilet, I’m on a personal quest to find something that I can do to bring that much ridiculous joy to someone else’s life. Sort of like a pay-it-forward of ridiculously funny things.

I’d like us all to take this time to observe a moment of silence for my toilet, and the joy it has brought me and countless others.

It's the South, Y'all!